Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A Very Badass Valentine

Ok, the snow was cool, but it's starting to get crusty. Clean it up already, people.

On other news, Hobbitbuddy sent me something yesterday that had me really confused. Why is she sending me heart-shaped bamboo cookies? I wondered. They were so good I nearly passed out on the spot, but after I regained control of consciousness I looked at her note again and puzzled on the wording. What's a Val-en-tine's Day? Is this a special day I have like my birthday?

Paolo wasn't around to comment, so I had to ask Mom. She told me it's a day humans celebrate where they pretend to love each other and get really obnoxious heart-shaped things for each other. I don't think Mom likes the holiday very much.

So I did some research online yesterday evening. I think it's actually kind of cool. It's hard for a badass panda like me to show some love because then people might think I'm losing my edge, but if it's a holiday, then who am I to fly in the face of tradition.

But all the Valentines I saw online really sucked. Too much lace and pink and girly clownmunch stuff. None of it suited me, so I made my own.

Yeah it's a day late now, but I know you'll get over it. Instead, you can appreciate the magnificence of my latent cardmaking talent. I should have my own brand.

With such skill, I'll need a badass name for my brand to go along with it.

I know, my fans are clever peeps--What should I call my brand?


At 8:11 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

I'm sorry I didn't explain Valentine's Day to you Bandit. I'm glad you enjoyed the cookies. Just wait and see what I'm sending your way for St. Patrick's Day!

At 8:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh good more pictures of a passed out bandit :-) Sorry little dude but it seems you're going to get the green beer hangover in march

At 8:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You got a VIP visitor yesterday. What did she say to you?

At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Pandaholic said...

Some ideas for your brand:
I-want-to-be-an-American Greetings
Papa B. Productions

Loved the photos in the snow!

At 8:22 AM, Anonymous H said...

rofl pandaholic! good ones

At 1:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

way to go pandaholic...nice thinking. I love your ideas! What's the big Bandit think?

At 8:26 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

Go to to see Bandit's audience with his VIP. I LOVE the fact he lounged in his tub the entire time, and the look on his face.She has come to worship, she must grovel at his paws. He KNOWS he's badass!

At 1:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fortunately she didn't come with Cheney.

At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bandit! They finally have figured out that you know about your dad! Time to take action!

At 9:19 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...



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