Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Referenced in Wikipedia...

Oh funny. I'm in Wikipedia. And there are people who still care about the Butterstick vs. Bandit name debate.

Don't get me wrong. People calling me "Butterstick" still annoys me, I just have bigger and better things on my mind now. Like, how am I going to bypass the rule that states a president must be at least 30 years old to take office? Even in panda years, I'll never make it in time. I won't even be, like, 25 in human years until I'm 8 years old.

So I might have to get Pandaholic to lean on Congress a bit to pass an amendment to the Constitution.

But that's something to worry about later, for now I'm riding high on the mad support my fans gave me when I announced my bid for the presidency last week. I also told Mom that if i'm going to run for president she needs to clean up her act. She actually seemed pleased at the idea. Who knew?

On the other hand, I'm wondering if I'm becoming too straightlaced and upstanding. That is a question for the ages:

Can anyone be badass and President of the United States at the same time?


At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Pandaholic said...

I will get all over congress about that amendment for you. Considering the alternatives, I think you will be a shoo in!

As far as badassness and the presidency... I would suggest Bill Clinton as an example. Depending on who you talk to, he could be considered badass - he didn't really follow his schedule, he is considered to be brilliant, had some womanizing foibles...

I saw you in the zoo last week just doing your tree climbing thing. I thought I saw you wave...maybe not.


At 3:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill Clinton? He's more of a fatass then a badass. Besides, look at the girl he got: Monica Lewinsky. At least JFK got the sexbomb of all time, Marylin Monroe. Not some overweight freak of an intern.

And need I remind you that Bill Clinton hit on Paula Jones...before plastic surgery. Clearly Bill was feeding at the bottom of the gutter.

Bandit, you clearly shouldn't model yourself on anyone. You will rewrite all the rules. Why I bet women will just line and ask you to cuddle with them. Once you do that, the panties will begin to drop.

At 4:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stick to your nature.

At 9:20 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

According to the zoo website, your Dad has become aware that you exsist. I suggest the next time he comes near the fence in your yard, you run over and say "What's up Daddy Dude?". I'm sure he really wants to meet you, but your servants have been keeping you apart deliberately (if you didn't already know). I guess they're afraid he'd sit on you and crush you, but you survived being sat on by your Mom, so I don't see what the big deal is (aside from the 35 pound weight difference between your parents). So go meet Daddy. He's badass,too.

At 6:32 PM, Anonymous H said...

What was she thinking?

That mother of yours pooped on your head today. You were in your "alley" and...the rest is history.


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