Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I never knew I needed a personal stylist...

...until I read this. I asked Mom if she thought I should hire a stylist. She honked about my ego getting out of hand or whatnot, but I really think she's just jealous.

This person has put together a pretty tight application, so I've copied it here and want everyone to welcome VP of Dior to the staff.

Name: VP of Dior

Position Applying For: Personal Stylist

Qualifications: First, let me say your coat is amazing. Black and white is always in. Black is especially making a comeback this year, BTW. I have been a slave to fashion for 23 yrs and believe that one's personal style should represent taste and passion. I have styled myself, family members, clueless ex-boyfriends, doggie companions, and hapless sorority sisters in need. My biggest client was Dolly, the cloned sheep, who I inspired to embrace the wonders of Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses.

DC is not known for its fashion savvy. Do not fret--I will make you even more bad-ass and avoid anything that resembles a Brooks Brother wool sweater. I see you rockin' a younger, polished version of Brad Pitt's style (let's face it you're just as hot as Pitt!). The Denim Bar in A-Town has fabulous distressed jeans that will look great on that little tushy (no doubt the time with the trainer is paying off!). Perhaps mix a D-squared bomber jacket with a new t-shirt from your own line, and throw in Dior shades. And to keep things down to earth pair it with a vintage brim hat from Eastern Market. You would be the most stylin mofo up in that zoo piece!

If you are not sure about this style, I will gladly listen to your wants and needs. I shall avoid any designers who use fur, including the heinous J-Lo. I hope you like my vision and it would be my great honor to style you.

I actually noticed she has a blog of her own, so I'm adding it to the links on my sidebar. I think I'd look pretty badass in a bomber jacket riding around town on my chopper, so that's cool. I think I might look a bit like a tool in jeans, but hey who really knows about these things until they try them. My fur is the most important priority for me. Mom makes it pink when she licks me, which is NOT cool.

Ok VP of Dior, do your thing--make her stop!


At 1:27 AM, Blogger DCdramaGrrls said...

I heart VP. she could up your stock for sure!

At 8:15 PM, Anonymous H said...

Bandit, if they talk you into manicures and L'Oreal products, I'm outta here :)

Always use OCC as your baseline and go from there.

Trust me on this lol

At 8:28 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

You need to get back to me on whether you plan to have Christmas dinner or whether you're skipping Christmas because you're Buddhist. Your Mom probably wants you to follow her religion, but Christmas is fun! You get to eat tons of food and you get presents! So, let me know. Love, Your chef.

At 3:37 PM, Blogger VP of Dior said...

Bandit - Thank you so much for the honor! Don't worry we're not going to give you manicures and make you metrosexual. You are a man's man ...errr a panda's panda?

Anyway, I'm on the case and will come up with a solution to keep mom off of your coat!


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