A Chef, Two Films, and Reason #427 Why the Zoo Sucks.

So I've decided that my enormous posting yesterday was kind of uncool. Like, just a little bit like those stupid hippos who like to show off in school just to prove how they're way smarter than you, when really, they're just a bunch of tools.

Anyway, all I'm sayin' is I'll try to keep it brief in the future. Unless I hear otherwise.

That being said, I got yet another application today--none other than Hobbitbuddy has applied to be my chef. This made me real hungry when I read it:

Name: Hobbitbuddy
Position applying for: chef

Since your teeth have sprouted so nicely, and you will soon begin munching on bamboo, I would like to apply for a job as your personal chef. Bamboo, as a solitary entree, can get tiresome, so I would find new and imaginitive ways to prepare and serve bamboo for your culinary pleasure. For example, how does roasted bamboo served with baked sweet potatoes, carrot strips and broiled gekko tails sound? For dessert would be a bamboo/apple compote with dainty lemur fingers on the side. If that doesn't strike your fancy, I could prepare barbequed bamboo, coconut bamboo, lemon bamboo, fried bamboo, bamboo stew, bamboo creole...

*slobbery response* the woman is HIRED! Editor, if you don't want me to knock your nose off of your face, you'll post Hobbitbuddy up as my chef. DO it.

Also, two more films have been made about me. When my editor quits groveling for mercy and finishes posting Hobbitbuddy as my new chef, she'll put the links up on the sidebar as well. Thanks to H for showing me the one by ABCNews:

http://abcnews.go.com/ Bandit makes the news. There's a link (and pic) of our wee Bandit on that website. Pretty cavalier with that camera in your face Bandit.

You know it. Like I said, it's only a matter of time before I'm OUT OF CONTROL!!!

I got two more comments but I'm going do throw those up here in a separate (seperate, separete...whatever, if I spell it wrong, it'll only punish my editor--which you all know is like my third favorite activity. Drives her NUTS when I do weird things with punctuation, etc) posting.

For now, I just need to sound off about this. First of all, I'm now enormous. I'm like, the largest cub ever. It's hard to call me a cub anymore when really I'm a huge badass BEAR. Check it out:

The thing that really eats me though is the chick: Ok so she's kind of cute in a toothy-human way, but does anyone else think she's ruining my pic? Is there a REASON she's in it too? Cause if it's purely for scale, they could just stick a ruler there next to me and it would serve the same purpose.

I just don't get it. I'm the zoo's bread and butter. Their top dollar attraction. Their reason for existance--and no I really don't think I'm being an unrealistic egomaniac about this--and they stick some anonymous chick in a picture next to me.

Dude people, learn how to crop.