Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Of Rags and Tools

I couldn't have said it better myself, Cramz. Well, maybe I could. Actually, if I tried real hard, I'm sure I could, but the point is, I would have to work at it, so that should be compliment enough.

In case I've lost anyone, on Monday I got this note:
Ummmm...this blog is pretty demented. I hope you folks are actually raising the panda, because if you're not - okay, let's not consider that possibility.

Huh? This guy/girl is such a tool he/she is an insult to the word. So for this purpose, I'm going to call her/him a rag. This rag doesn't even understand the very most basic premise of this blog. This is ME here. BANDIT. or Tai Shan, whatever. But the point is, my staff works for me, they're not trying to "raise" me or some other clownmunch nonsense. The staff and I discussed this and denounced it for the rag-rubbish it is.

But then, this morning, good ol' Cramz posted this:
Who's this anonymous tool posting above? Now that those teeth are coming in Bandit, you can rip munches like this a new one...

Oh how I want to, Cramzie. If I have to put up with the infernal clacking, I might as well use it to do the world some good.

Woah. I just had, like, a light go off in my head or something. It's all clear to me now. The GECKOS have found my blog!! You saw what they did to that poor giraffe, Jafari, last week. Skin cancer my round, black, furry ass. Poor kid didn't stand a chance against battery acid.

And now the geckos are posting, trying to discourange me. Well well this should be interesting. I think I might have finally found the cure for clacking teeth.

Fresh gecko.

1 Comments:

At 5:01 PM, Blogger THE HAnD said...

Do you get mad if the other zoo animals tell "your mom" jokes? (ie- your mama's so fat, she squeezed out a butterstick instead of a baby.)

I mean, I know you don't like her, but does it offend you when other people rip on her?

 

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