Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Bad as ol' Sammy L.

Hey, fun. I have TWO questions waiting for me to answer. The first question looks like it came on Friday, but I missed it because my clownmunch editor didn't show up for our evening meeting. I'm badass and I can do lots of stuff, but I can't type. Sucks, but that's the way it is.

So hobbitbuddy, you had this question:

Dear Sweet Bandit,You rock!I enjoy reading your blog. I was interested to know if you've ever met Samuel L. Jackson or watched any of his films because you definitely have the same "take no prisoners" 'tude. Keep the faith little bro.

Right back atcha human bro. Funny you should ask. Samuel L. actually sends me fanmail. He asked for my autograph a few weeks ago but Mom thinks he's a bad influence and refused. I swear if she gets any more toolish I may have to stuff her in a Craftsman toolbox.

But yeah, he's way badass. I actually got to watch Pulp Fiction when I turned 100 days old. My lawyer smuggled me a copy (I think I may be getting the hang of this appreciating irony thing) and I watched it. Mom tried to watch it with me, but she got way lost. Plus, she only speaks a few words of English, she didn't know they were SWEARING every other WORD. It ruled.

Except it could have a used a few more hot panda chicks. And I should have been in it.

Yeah. The cool factor on that alone warrants a remake.

2 Comments:

At 10:55 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

Bandit,
If you ever have lunch at the zoo with Samuel L., be sure to order a "Gekko Royale with cheese".You'll impress him with your monumental "badittude" and street cred. Then take him by the monkey house to show off your amazing jaw power by decapitating a few lemurs for his enjoyment. Just make sure your Mom doesn't find out! By the way, I saw her hanging in a tree the other day, drunk. You poor adorable little guy.

 
At 10:01 AM, Anonymous blue said...

Dearest Bandit,

I find you totally awesome. However, I have a question. Beneath that tough rebel-like (soft and fuzzy) exterior, theres a sweet panda in you somewhere, right? Admit it!

 

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