Question and Random Stuff

Looks like I have a bit of a backlog on my hands. My fan "H" (dude, we're all friends here, you can give me more of a moniker than a letter if you feel like it) has been waiting for a number of days for a response to his (or her) question, so I'll address that first:

Hey Bandit, I'm a faithful panda watcher. I'm curious to know why you keep walking into walls. Also wondering, do you have a favorite minion among the staff?

It does look like I'm walking into walls, doesn't it. I'm sure you'll all be relieved to know that's not really the case. I'm banging my head against the walls in frustration. We all know her name, it rhymes with IDIOT MOTHER. Ok so maybe it doesn't.

I'll draw your attention to the most recent film of me released by the Zoo (see the link under "Bandit in Film" Oct. 21st). See me at the end? See how happy I am to be viewing some fans, even if they are only the press? Now see how Mom comes lumbering up and steals my show, then tries to pick me up with her mouth. See how it doesn't work because I'm HUGE. So yeah, I'm hitting my head on walls to drive the higher thought processes from my brain--I mean really. Around her, what do I need my highly developed intelligence for?

Side note--I have a really badass bark don't I? Oh and that shot didn't hurt. I just wanted to make sure my clownmunch doctors knew it wasn't cool either.

As for the second part of your question, H, we all know who my least favorite staff member is. But of the others, right now, I have to give a shout out to my publicist. She's been hooking me up with some big contacts right now, and maybe has even been responsible for leading you to me.

You know what though, I could use some more staff members. It's kind of a chick fest around here, not that I'm complaining but it would rule to get some guys on board. Anyone who's interested, just click on the green link below my staff listings and tell me what you want to do and why you're qualified. I'm the best boss in the world. Hey ask my editor. I've resisted caning her five times now, isn't that big of me?

I'll leave you all with this bit of advice from Hobbitbuddy. He/She meant it for me, but I think it's the kind of advice we could all benefit from.

Bandit,
If you ever have lunch at the zoo with Samuel L., be sure to order a "Gekko Royale with cheese".You'll impress him with your monumental "badittude" and street cred. Then take him by the monkey house to show off your amazing jaw power by decapitating a few lemurs for his enjoyment. Just make sure your Mom doesn't find out! By the way, I saw her hanging in a tree the other day, drunk. You poor adorable little guy.

Confucious has nothing on this guy.