Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Going Public

My alert fan Cramz put a comment on my blog today, reminding me of some important news I should share with the rest of the Bandit-watching community.

The Zoo will finally let me greet my adoring public in November. That's right, just when it's getting dark and gray and depressing outside, I will be there to save the day. I understand you'll all have to get tickets to see me because they don't want a mob, and I don't want my fans to get hurt. I may be badass but I'm thoughtful too.

I think I'll probably have some crappy Chinese name by then, but I'm thinking it'll be like one of those actors whose parents give them really stupid names and everyone knows them by their way awesome nickname. Like Steve McQueen going by Steve McQueen instead of his clownmunch real name Qin Ti Sheng. Betcha didn't know that, huh.

By then I should be roughly the size of a small car since according to medical data provided by Dr. Egon Spengler himself, I'm growing up to be the BIGGEST PANDA ON EARTH (-earth, -earth, -earth).

Here's me and Egon. Yeah that's right, I'm so scary badass that the Zoo had to hire a GHOSTBUSTER just to do my checkups.

Later, Egon and I prank called Peter and I impersonated Slimer's voice. That freaked Egon out because like I said before, he's a clownmunch and they all get freaked out when I talk. Peter was just like "HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER! I'M GOING TO FIRE MY AGENT YOU LITTLE PUKE, and THEN I'M COMING AFTER YOU" and then he said something about an aquatic life and I got bored so I hung up.

After that, Egon wouldn't give me Ray's number, so I called Winston and we chatted it up for like two hours because Winston rocks.


At 10:52 AM, Blogger dc2230 said...

Don't blame me for your crappy name. I wanted to name you LaVar Pandington. GO SKINS


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