Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Super Sizing Me

Hey hey, at 9 weeks old, I'm more cute than a whole bin full of cut-rate Finding Nemo fish. And as most of my fans already know, way more badass. I'm growing faster than all the other pandas in the history of the WORLD, which means when I'm all grown up, I'll be the biggest, meanest, toughest, most badassest panda in the WORLD. And I'll be real down-to-earth about it too. Just like Angelina Jolie and her foreign kids.

A big shout out to my fans Ally and Liz. Thanks to your vigilant attention, my editor is being punished for her laziness. A bunch of cool badass thugs came to her house tonight and chained her to her chair and she had to post my message or stay there until she did.

Also is anyone else disturbed by Mom's "toy"?

From the Zoo website:

"Mei Xiang has retrieved a toy from the hay in the den. It is a toy made for big dogs called a 'kong.' She has picked it up and manipulated it a few times, but most of the time it is just lying in the nest."

GROSS. I don't what to know about Mom manipulating her kong, and I don't care if it's fascinating to science.

I know I'm badass and all, but let's protect my innocence for at least a few more weeks?

Peace.

2 Comments:

At 12:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 3:07 PM, Blogger Brian said...

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