Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Today Sucks

I'm so like, depressed in an uncool way. I overheard some of the servants talking about how I'd have to go "back" to China in two years. This sucks. This sucks like a broccoli milkshake.

They don't need me over there. What if they tried to eat me?! I mean, I could defend myself, no problem, but who wants to have hungry Chinamen chasing after them with chopsticks and woks? Such a downer.

Speaking of downers, Mom took away my copy of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. It was the only video game I owned, yo. I know it's a few years old, and I don't even have a gaming system, but sometimes I'd climb on top of the game box and make driving noises and I'd pretend I was shooting ho's and stealing stuff. It was way cool and now I can't because MOM is handmaiden to THE MAN.

Here she is taking the game away from me. You can see I didn't let it go without a fight.

Today sucks. First, I find out I'll be getting deported when I hit the big 0-2, and then I lose my guilty pleasure--all in the same day.

Life is so rough at seven weeks old.


At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Monica said...

Bandit, don't leave me!

Brian, you're a clownmunch. I think you're just jealous because you're not a panda too.


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