Slander and Other News

Hello, pissed off baby panda here.

I want those clownmunches at the National Zoo FIRED. Or, they should fire whoever is writing this slander. I do NOT have a pear-shaped rear end. And I'll lift it when I'm good and ready, thank you.

On to other news, Lisa Pugh of Silver Spring, Maryland wrote a letter to the editor of the Washington Post's Express. "I just can't see a hundred-pound-plus bear (as he will become)..." she writes [you BETCHA Lisa, I'm going to be one big badass bear] "...being called Butterstick. It sounds kind of humiliating. Not the kind of name a panda can wear with real pride."

You're completely right, Lisa. But Bandit is a name I wear with pride, and I will NEVER answer to that awful other name-that-will-not-be-mentioned.

All you silly "grassroots" activists cheering for Butterstick as MY name can just go back to eating your grass roots. I'd rather have a silly Chinese name I don't understand than an insulting American one that I very much understand.

TAKE THAT CLOWNMUNCHES!