Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Slander and Other News

Hello, pissed off baby panda here.

I want those clownmunches at the National Zoo FIRED. Or, they should fire whoever is writing this slander. I do NOT have a pear-shaped rear end. And I'll lift it when I'm good and ready, thank you.

On to other news, Lisa Pugh of Silver Spring, Maryland wrote a letter to the editor of the Washington Post's Express. "I just can't see a hundred-pound-plus bear (as he will become)..." she writes [you BETCHA Lisa, I'm going to be one big badass bear] "...being called Butterstick. It sounds kind of humiliating. Not the kind of name a panda can wear with real pride."

You're completely right, Lisa. But Bandit is a name I wear with pride, and I will NEVER answer to that awful other name-that-will-not-be-mentioned.

All you silly "grassroots" activists cheering for Butterstick as MY name can just go back to eating your grass roots. I'd rather have a silly Chinese name I don't understand than an insulting American one that I very much understand.



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