Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Hellooo World! (My eyes are open!)

Wow...it's uh...not quite as cool as I imagined it would be. And Mom is really weird looking. I imagined her looking...I don't know...like Courtney Love or something.

They need to do something about the walls here. Really depressing. Makes me want to take up a life of hard drinking.

But other than that, hey it's cool, I can see! This really does make things a lot easier. Oh, and check this out:

"The cub's eyes were first noted to be open at about 4:15 yesterday afternoon. There has been no apparent change in his behavior since then. However, now that his eyes are open, we think he looks even cuter, smarter, and more engaging than any other panda cub, ever!" --The National Zoo (check their link on my tricked-out sidebar)

You hear THAT people. These people are scientists. They don't make statements like that unless it's an absolute proven fact. Aren't you glad you loved me first? Now all these wannabe Bandit-lovin' POSERS are going to start clogging the bandwidth on my site trying to be all "But I loved Bandit ever since high school." "Oh yeah? I loved Bandit ever since middle school." And some really stupid dorks will be like "Well I loved Bandit since before I was BORN, TAKE THAT CLOWNMUNCH!"

I don't know what a clownmunch is but I wouldn't want to be one, so it must suck.

1 Comments:

At 4:41 PM, Anonymous Monica said...

You taught me to love again. Take THAT clownmunch!

 

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