Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Why I'm So Smart

So I was just squirming in the straw a few minutes ago (I don't really "sit") and it occured to me. You might think it's weird that I'm so well-developed mentally, when on the outside I'm about as functional as a 34 year old crack addict at 7 o'clock on a Monday morning.

I'm not sure how it happened either. Mom keeps telling me Dad's a brainiac--she says I never see him because he does top secret work for the Chinese government, and you know it must be true because I had to get my intelligence somewhere and it sure as heck was NOT from Mom.

Oh dude, you've GOT to hear this story. So yesterday I was honking at Mom (I don't remember why) and she's all like "Mind your manners!" And I was all like "Make me!" And she was all like "I didn't go through an hour and a half of labor just so you can back talk me, young man!" And I was like "Go eat some bamboo, Woman and bring me my dinner!" She honked and then she did.

It was cool.

1 Comments:

At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Monica said...

Baby, you go on with your bad self and tell her like it is! You're such a bad, bad panda...

 

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