Bandit Speaks Out

Welcome to my site!

I applaud you for coming here. Most people seem content to watch me in grainy cameras on slow-moving websites, but you have chosen to take a more interesting route. You have decided to learn what I really think about me.

First off, let me tell you a little about myself. My parents are Chinese, but I'm an American-born citizen. I rule. Mom is so old-fashioned she thinks the sun is a god, and I'm pretty sure my dad is a deadbeat because I never see him around. I live in a high tech house, with lots of servants and personal medical staff, and I have lots of fans all over the country who watch me on those webcams--I'm still undecided about that btw. It's pretty invasive, but I'm cool, I know I'm cute, so keep watching me if you like. Hang on, brb...

Ok back. God, Mom is clingy. I keep telling her to get off my back about stuff but she just honks or whatever noise they say we make and suffocates me. It's gotten so bad the servants have started to try to lure her out of the house with treats. Yeah. Do you see what I have to put up with?

My mother is a giant bear.

Later