Weight Watching

Does anyone think I need to work out? Stop laughing, this is serious!

My helpless flailing brought my arm in contact with my belly a minute ago and I realized it's huge! It just sticks out there, all round and stuff. And it's kind of hard too, I wonder if I'm bloated... Nah. My personal medical staff would have done something about it by now. I'm like gold to them.

I know Mom's as fat as an elephant, but I want to be a trim, sleek, badass panda. I want to be the panda all the women want to be with, and all the men want to be. I know having a beer gut won't get me that status in any part of the world.

So I'm thinking I should start working out. Lower my body fat percentage. Maybe they can add a dietition to my entourage?

Oh speaking of which, did you know the HBO television show "Entourage" is loosely based on my life? Yeah, ok it's really loosely based. Reeeaally loosely. Like, so loosely, if you think too hard about it, it won't make any sense.

Ok, heh, I'm lying. I hadya going though didn't I? Admit it, admit it!

I rock.