Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

More March of Madness and Ms. Sharon Ambrose of Ward 6

That is the last time I listen to an orangutan about basketball picks.

They tell you they know everything about b-ball because they have long arms and can dunk, but what they DON'T tell you (and what I'm kicking myself about for not remembering) is that they are the most asinine primates in the animal kingdom.

Duke? Gone.
Syracuse? Done before they started.
Tennessee? Gone.
UNC? Gone (but they were beat by our local boys, the George Mason Pandas, so I didn't mind missing on that pick)
UConn, GONE (again by the Pandas, but what do you expect from a team so named?)

My bracket is a mess. What's worse, I owe money to about 13 different species.

So, onto other news...I'm about a week behind, but an alert fan pointed out this note posted on 3/22. The article came from the Washington Times (apparently the DC Council is discussing making me the official animal of DC, go me!):

PRO: "The panda ought to be one of the strong possibilities," says D.C. Council Chairman Linda W. Cropp, who is running for mayor. The official animal "really should be what captures the imagination of the children and makes them feel good -- and the panda does that."

CON: "The panda should not be it because we should have an animal that is native," says [Sharon Ambrose] the Ward 6 Democrat, who isn't seeking re-election. "We should have an animal that is an American."

Whaaaaa? Does Ms. Sharon Ambrose even read I find it hard to believe that a duly elected official of the people would neglect the one-stop resource on the inner thoughts of the people's choice for President 2008.

Then again, not so hard to believe.

Beeotch, I'm as American as the Golden Corral All-You-Can-Eat Buffet, loud car horns, badass gunslingers, and that pie I always hear people talk about. I was born here, chica! Last I checked, that's enough for citizenship.

No wonder she isn't seeking re-election. Cause she knows she'd LOSE.

Yeah. Take that, sucka.


At 1:00 PM, Anonymous H said...


At 4:53 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

Ms. Sharon Ambrose really needs to get a clue because everyone in this country knows that you are the most popular person in DC with an approval rating of 100%!You should be the symbol of our nation's capitol. Take that, Dubya!

At 9:10 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

Happy belated Easter. Hope you enjoyed the chocolate gekko bunny I sent you. I think you should know that your servants are making comments about your weight. In their latest message they refer to your "well-padded bottom". They're saying you're fat, Bandit. You need to retaliate.

At 12:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bandit, you are not fat! Your clownmunch zoo keepers are just jealous of your outstanding physique! Keep up with those work-outs. Love from your personal trainer, Lauren

At 10:16 AM, Anonymous Pandaholic said...

Where have you been? We miss you!


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