Inner Monologue of Bandit the Panda

Bandit, the rascally baby panda born to Mei Xiang and Tian Tian at the National Zoo in Washington, DC, gives interested readers the inside track on his world.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Welcome my Lobbyist

Sweet, I got representation!

Dear Bandit,

I work on Capitol Hill and we are all obsessed with you! We have pictures of you all over our office and watch the live feed every day. I would like to apply to be your lobbyist here on the Hill - especially if you decide to apply for your citizenship and stay here. We can make a new law for you! We will have a Bandit-ocracy (although we secretly refer to you as Butterstick...) What do you think?

Pandaholic on the Hill

I'm intrigued by the first sentence "I work on Capitol Hill and we are all obsessed with you!" So, as my editor advises me, grammatically that means that everyone who works on Capitol Hill is obsessed with me. HOOOSH POWER RUSH!! That's like, every powerful decision maker in the entire country. I really must need a lobbyist if I have Congress ready to eat out of my paw but no one to tell them what I want. Pandaholic you're way hired.

As for the mention of That Other Name, I suppose so long as it is NEVER MENTIONED IN MY PRESENCE then there's nothing I can do to keep you from using it.

I believe a banditocracy might be just the thing this country needs.

Vote Bandit.


At 7:54 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

The last few nights I've watched you on Pandacam, it looks like you're trying to tunnel under the jail (oops...I mean den) door. Are you planning an escape? If you are, I recommend you watch The Great Escape, The Dirty Dozen, and the entire first season DVD of Hogan's Heroes. They'll give you plenty of tips on how to break out of the zoo.
By the way, if you ran, I'd vote for you for prez. The current one is a real clownmunch.

At 9:37 PM, Anonymous Pandaholic said...


I am honored to be a part of your team! I will start crafting some legislation asap! I will make sure it is badass and representative of your amazing-ness. All of the lawmakers (and their staff) are indeed obsessed with you. We could get some great laws passed if you could get a hold of some discretionary tickets. A little meet and greet with the Congressmen and Senators and we will be living in the United States of Bandit...

Your devoted Pandaholic (registered Bandit Lobbyist)

At 4:25 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

Happy Thanksgiving to Bandit from your chef!
I hope you enjoyed the bamburkey, sweet potatoes, carrots, and apple/bamboo crisp I sent for your very first Thanksgiving. I trust your Mom enjoyed the case of beer. Love, Hobbitbuddy

At 8:51 PM, Anonymous H said...

Boy oh boy, Mei is feeling her oats tonight. Not only did she smack Bandit in the face (twice) she came back later and sat on him. The "sitting" happened around 8:38pm EST Sunday night, anyone see it? I nearly died! I mean she deliberately turned around and sat on him. I think you better be cool Bandit or Momma's gonna make a Panda Puck out of you next.

At 4:23 PM, Blogger hobbitbuddy said...

Bandit tried to bite Mei on the face just before Thanksgiving. He's become more aggressive,and he's been giving the keepers grief, too. I think Mei's just defending herself. Sitting on her baby, however, IS going a little too far! I wonder if any of the keepers saw the incident. How would they intervene? I wouldn't want to tangle with a 250-lb. mother bear!

At 9:24 AM, Blogger pandafan2 said...

Bandit -

You go guy! Putting on the show for the reporters! Showing the keepers who is boss!

From AP wire:
He chased his zoo keeper around, trying to nibble at the hems of her jeans. He pulled himself over the ledge of the habitat's rocky centerpiece. He tumbled onto his back, and he gummed at the bamboo stalks that will someday form his diet.

At 11:55 AM, Anonymous H said...

Check out Bandit on Yahoo with the bamboo in his mouth.;_ylt=AgHYwT7PN7UDCCIoIgRco21saMYA;_ylu=X3oDMTA5bGVna3NhBHNlYwNzc3JlbA--

The caption on this should read "smoke 'em if you got 'em boys".


Post a Comment

<< Home